REDNECK ENGINEERING EXAM ==============================    1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.    2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?    '66 Ford Fairlane    '69 Chevrolet Chevelle    '64 Pontiac GTO    '65 Blue Bird School Bus    3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?    4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 trees per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall Boys will it take to cut the trees?    5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone _layer_?    6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawed pine. [a] When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed? [c] How many feral cats will be killed? [d] How many Skunks? [e] How many Coons?    7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land? [a] How many dug well tiles will it take to get water for the Mobile homes? [b] Calculate the ratio per home of Fines from the Town Clerk for no permits?    8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain?  * For extra credit how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?    9. A Coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?    10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?    11. A Chicken Shed is 6' x 5' in area, with 7 Chickens. The depth of wood chips at any given time on top is 2 . And the depth of compressed chicken manure with wood chips is approx. 4 below. What is the Total BTU Output from the Chicken manure and the Live Birds required to heat the Shed in the Winter?   * For Extra Credit, calculate how much Insulation 1 thick insulation board and plywood is necessary to Retain the Heat for the Winter?    12.  The State Highway bisects your Town which is surrounded on both sides by a large State Forest and Wild Life Management area.  With Memorial Day Weekend approaching, here at any given hour 6 Winnabago Motor Homes with cars in tow going in both directions. According to Fish and Game and DOT Stats there are 6 Moose, 100 Deer, 6 Black Bear, 50 Coons and 25 Skunks in the general area at any given time. [a] Calculate the Ratio of Accidents per type of Wild Life per Species in a 24 hour period. [b] Calculate the amount of times the local Constable and his in-laws get called for the Flatbed truck per incident. [c] Calculate the amount of Fines the Constable takes for his buddy's on the Local Select Board for Wild Life Hits Via Phony Speeding Tickets? [d] Calculate the amount of Wild Game Suppers the Local Methodist Church gives via the amount of Road Kill recovered off the Books.  13. As The Memorial Day Weekend approaches, the State Patrol usually puts out 6 marked single officer cruisers and the County Sheriff puts out 6 marked single officer cruisers on the same Highways in your District. The Amount of overloaded flat lander vacationers with Motor Homes, Vans, Station Wagons and Pick-up towing Campers is about 6 per hour. [a] calculate the amount of Speeding Tickets issued per cruiser per hour for each officer. [b] Calculate the amount of Fines necessary to pay for all the overtime and costs necessary if each officer gets paid $15 per hour and Time and 1/2 overtime. * For Extra Credit, Calculate the Amount of Vehicle Auctions needed for the difference.  14. The neighbor has a dozen Jersey Cows 1/4 mile away across the road next to his Trailer Home that get out through the rusty barbered wire fence at night. Calculate how many dents per hour they make passing your parked Chevy Suburban parked next to your cabin in the Dark? 15. Using the Question above: [a] Calculate how many times you can wake up your Drunken Farmer Neighbor by Running the dairy cows off your land with your 12 gage Mossberg Shotgun using # 9 Bird Shot Shells?. [b] How many rounds would it take to attract the State Patrol at 3 AM five miles out of town on the Hiway passing by? [c] How many rounds of return fire can you expect from your Neighbor and his Onary three grown son's? [d] What is the Ratio between the number of rounds Fired by both sides in a dispute, the Number of 911 Calls the Neighbor's make and the number of Officer's responding to the scene on over time? [e] Calculate the amount of Bond Necessary by Both sides to get out by Memorial Day Weekend's Conclusion? 16. A Farmer hauls his John Deer Tractor with a 20 cubic yard Manure Spreader up a windy three mile road to his other field going at 5 Mph on a 25 Mph marked speed zone followed by a Flatlander driving a New SAAB 900s Turbo. If the Irate Tourist Tailgating the Farmer Blows the car horn to pass,. [a] Calculate the Ratio between Car Horn Blows and the Farmer's Release of the Spreader Idle Control knob. [b] Calculate the Amount of Cubic Feet it takes a Manure Spreader Rotary attachment going at 5200 Rpm to Cover the Front of the SAAB 900s. [c] If it takes five scrubs a minute with a large broom and water bucket, Calculate how many times in an hour a Suited Lawyer takes to scrub the Manure of the SAAB. 17. Another neighbor has a pot head teenage boy who listens to his Satanic Rock Music over his 500 Watt Stereo System being played at 2 AM on Full Volume while the Parents are at a Local Ho Down. [a] Calculate the amount of time the Irate Neighbor's take to Fire a 12 gage shotgun in the Music's General Direction . [b] Calculate the Number of 12 gage rounds needed until the Punk Rocker Shuts the Stereo Off. [c] Calculate the Number of Mail Box Shootings done in response to the above actions if there are 5 mail boxes on a three mile rural road.  *** Extra Credit Question: , The Farmer's Neighbor is an Amateur Radio Operator with a 500 Watt Linear Amp. who gets on between 10 PM and 4 AM. The Farmer has a Barn and  two Mobile Homes with 12 Florescent Lamps in both operating at any given time with his cheap stereo and TV operating. [a] Calculate the amount of Power per appliance necessary for the Ham to Cause Interference. [b] Calculate the Ratio of Blown Florescent Tubes per number of Ham Transmissions per hour. [c] Calculate the Amount of .30-30 Rounds Fired by the Neighbor in the Ham's General direction when he doesn't answer his Phone to listen to their complaints. [d] Calculate the amount of 911 Calls made by Flatlander Seasonal Neighbor's to the State Patrol over the gunfire in any 15 minute period. And  [e] the number of times the Desk Sgt. tells them, Well if you'all don't like their Legal Gunfire, Move back to the City to Listen to the Drive-By's Illegal Gunfire and hangs up the desk phone..